Currant and the Mosquitos

Waves splashed loudly against the docks as birds screamed in the salty breeze. The palisade of storefronts stood against the iron-grey sky and crowded down by the dock like anxious youngsters round a fire-place; they surrounded a great tangle of ship and sail and ropes that was the harbor, and the smell of fish was suffocating if you had not gotten used to it. There were fish everywhere; in piles in docks, overflowing from barrels; flopping out of the shallow water underneath. A particularly potent rack of them was set out below a sputtering yellow sign that read “EZ FISH”. A skinny spiderweb stretched between the sign and the dusty plank of the eave above; and in the web was situated the oldest, fattest, most wrinkly spider I have ever seen in my life.

Wrinkly Spider was speaking in a slow, weedy sort of voice like an ancient cello, and balanced on the “E” in “EZ”, Currant Sturgeon, a younger spider, listened politely. 

The Chief waved a spindle leg in the direction of the harbor. “Do you think I do not regret the placement of my office; every morning to wake up and be faced with that monstrous mosquito heaven for a view?”

The younger spider looked and could practically hear the buzzing of thousands of the bugs nesting in the plentiful pools of stagnant water. He shuddered. “I could see that being very unpleasant, sir.”

Chief sighed. “All that to say we need more mosquito-catchers.” He consulted a dirty bit of paper lying nearby. “Ah, you are coming for your qualifying assignment. Here it is. I hope you succeed. Mosquitos are over running the place.” He handed Currant the paper-bit.

“Thank you, Chief!” he scrambled from the “E” and dropped behind the first row of horrid fish on the rack to examine the artifact he had received.

“Dear Young and Ambitious Arachnid thank you for wanting to become a pest control agent of Scallop! To qualify for this position please prove your capabilities by catching five bothersome bugs known as mosquitos in naught more than two days, please.” It was a very dirty and bedraggled piece of paper indeed, but Currant looked at it with admiration. 

“Interesting; a potential mosquito-catcher?” said a voice, and Current jumped when he realized he wasn’t alone. A thin, leggy spider leaned against a dead fish nearby.

“O, Hello!” said Current cheerfully. His dream job had never seemed so close to reality. 

“I was a potential catcher as well in my youth. Dreadfully difficult. Ended up as a messenger-spider instead.”

The Chief spider’s weedy voice called from above.

“O, Barry! I have a message for delivery!”

“Welp, that’s my cue. Off I go!” Barry waved and sprang aloft into the Chief’s web.  

 A life as a messenger spider would no doubt be interesting, but to pass so frequently by the human areas would be terrifying. Just thinking of the bug-hating creatures made him bouncy with anxiety. Fortunately, his assignment was simple, and he knew just the place to begin setting up his webs. Hastily he scurried from the rack and into the gutter, glad to be getting away from the busy docks, where there were too many humans for comfort.  

The quiet alley-ways of Scallop were Current’s favorite places to be. Damp and mouldy, and smelling pleasantly of mossy lumber and algae, silent except for the drip of water and the occasional scamperings of a cockroach, they were peaceful. Alone in the alleyway as usual, he began stringing several lengthy webs from one rooftop to the next in what he hoped was an efficient and professional way. Soon there were a nice array of sticky webs aligned along the alley, and Currant sat down in the gutter to wait for the mosquitoes. 

The evening became nighttime and the air became cool and breezy. All was quiet until the leaves rustled and an earwig crawled out onto the drooping shingle of the roof.

“Evenin,” said the earwig.

“Hi,” said Current. “Er…. Were you just in there with the humans?”

“Huh? There?” Earwig gestured down the gutter at the house with an antenna. “Sure.”

“You're not scared?”

“Nope. Ha, give them their personal space and they're gentle as snails. What do you got all these webs here for?”

Current was tired by his long and fruitless vigil and glad to share his story. “I’m trying to fulfill my goal to become qualified for a pest control agent but I can’t seem to catch anything!”

Earwig’s broad but pleasant face nearly split in a good-natured grin. “Oy, yer surely not catching much, lad. Get nearer those there humans, there. Ha-ha, give them proper space and they’re gentle as snails.”

“Humans?” Current trembled visibly. “How horrid.”

“Ha-ha, it’s not so bad!” he said bracingly, but Current did not feel cheered over much. A sympathetic silence followed, until the earwig stirred amid the leaves.

“Id better be off. All the best on your assignment.” Earwig raised a foreleg in farewell and tramped off into the gutter.

Current sat for a minute in deep thought. Despite his fears, the earwig’s advice made sense. Humans were a dreadful prospect, but he thought of Barry the messenger spider and the trials he would have to face if he failed this assignment. He hurried away towards the busier part of town, leaving his webs swaying emptily behind him.

Current peered cautiously into the vast doorway of a house. It was completely dark inside and quiet. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. He made the web quickly and nervously in a high corner of the doorway (surely no human would see him there), watching the inside of the house carefully and jumping at every noise. Finally the construct was complete and he waited in a corner.  

A promising buzzing sound grew inside the house as grey dawn approached. Yes, the inside of the house was filled with tiny pests, he was sure. But the humans were stirring, too: he could occasionally hear ground shaking bumps and great rumbling sounds that were their voices. He waited full of trepidation. Somewhere a rooster crowed loudly.

Suddenly he saw a buzzing cloud of tiny black specs zoom out of the house door. Mosquitos!! And yes at least two of the bugs stopped and dangled suspended from the web. Hardly able to contain his joy, he bounced up and down. His plan worked! But just then a thundering footstep sounded within and approached the door. The web jiggled alarmingly at each impact, and he heard a booming voice right inside the door.

“Lovely morning today is!” 

Before Current could react, a gigantic figure walked through the doorway, a taller one than he had expected. The top of the human’s huge head (brown and fuzzy with hair) approached like a speeding landslide, and the next thing he knew the web and the human had collided painfully. Current sprang panicked for solid territory, and the human emitted a high wailing sound and batted at his face. Mosquitos buzzed and flew off into the distance. Current hauled himself onto the roof to safety. Thundering screeches sounded from below and Current sat for a minute trembling quite badly.

When the noises stopped he peeked timidly over the edge of the roof. The human was standing below him, looking down at the remains of the web. The human spoke:

“What a scare. Dear me, but it is rather dreadful I busted it. Spiders are jolly good at catching mosquitos. . .”

Surprised, Current remembered the earwig's statement about humans being gentle as snails. While the destruction he had just witnessed could not be qualified as gentle exactly, Current found the human’s comment more pleasant than he had expected. Perhaps they were not so much monsters after all.  

A most unpleasant jolt shot through him as he realized that the mosquitos he had caught were now gone. He was back where he had started; without mosquitos or webs. He swallowed hard and thought that in setting the web up high in a seemingly deserted doorway, he had not been fully following the earwig's advice.  

Sadly he considered the options. He could try waiting in another deserted alleyway or he could venture nearer the humans to set up his web. He had discovered how useless waiting in the alleys had been. Maybe it was time to try a different tactic. The human had gone. Current hopped down from the roof and scurried towards the nearest and busiest place he knew of: the docks.  

The buzzing of millions of mosquitos at work greeted him as he drew near, audible even over the clamor of human voices, splashing of waves and creaking of ships. He had never been this near to this many humans at once; their formidable presence shook the ground as they walked. He wondered where the best place for his web was. That place by the dock fence looked promising: slightly sheltered by an overhead beam, yet open to the air and close by a group of young humans cutting fish and batting at tiny black specs—mosquitoes. Current crawled over, stepped gingerly onto the fence and began to spin a web, heart thudding. The humans were so close: he could hear the rustling of their clothing and smell the cheap vanilla perfume one of them wore.  

One of the young humans bent down and saw the web.

“Look at that, a spider!” He shouted, and poor Current prepared for the worst; but the human only turned back to the fish. “They're good for mosquito catching. Whee, there are a lot of those for sure.”

Current sighed in relief, then looked up sharply. What was that–a black spec was now dangling from his web! As he watched in wonder, three, four, and five more appeared! He was flooded with excitement.  

A weedy voice spoke behind him and he turned to see the Chief Spider.

“Well hello there, Current! I was passing by and happened to see you very handily achieve your requirements.”

“You did?” Gasped Current.

“I believe you now qualify for a pest control agent. Visit my office tomorrow for your first assignment. Congratulations.”

Current was so overwhelmed with happiness he could hardly thank the chief, but watched, grinning, as he strutted down the fence and swung up to his office above the “EZ FISH” sign, which now seemed a much more welcoming place than when he had gone there previously. Tomorrow he would start his job!